My Life As A Disney Princess

My grades are low, I'm benched in cheer, what way can I improve? So I decided to look at things from a different perspective...
like every other Asian kid who doesn’t get an "A" average.
I’m going to bring dishonor to the family or something. che~
so what do you do when you don’t know what to do? You turn to Disney of course! XD


The Mulan way:

I take the place of my dad and go to war valiantly while cross dressing, and end up saving the country and marrying the top war load, bring honor back to the family, and then bask in glory.
Problems:
the only war I know about is in Iraq, and New Zealand isn’t even a part of it, I can’t join. And it wouldn’t be that fun without the whole cross-dressing thing, and... Do I get a mini dragon and a cute cricket too?
Verdict:
Unable to recreate setting, but compared to acing Math, Chemistry, English, Spanish, and History, I think becoming a war hero is more likely. =___=



The Sleeping beauty way:

Just get enchanted by fairies when I’m sixteen [now], then jab my finger on a spinning wheel, fall asleep for a thousand years, then be awoken by the kiss of true love. Sounds great, I get a prince and a nice nap.
Problems:
erm... first of all, WHERE DO I FIND FAIRIES? And I’ll have a hard time finding a spinning wheel to prick my finger with... do you think a sewing machine would work? And what do I smear the needle with first? That drug Juliet used?
Verdict:
its great and easy, I’ll do it as soon as I find faeries.


The Snow white way:

Be so beautiful I have to escape into a forest to survive my wicked stepmother. Find a house inhabited by 7 dwarfs... live there till I’m "killed" by a poisonous apple, then lie in a glass jar, wait I mean box, till a prince walking by falls in love with me. Then I’ll live happily ever after and escape the clutches of the evil queen.
Problems:
lol, I hit a problem in the first 3 words "be so beautiful..." ah~.... ...
oh wait, threes always plastic surgery... jokes. No way. Michael Jackson is the first thing that pops into my mind when I think about surgery, and if you consider him "beautiful" ...then I have nothing to say to you. O_O
Verdict:
hm... Yea, I’ll run into a forest as soon as I’m "beautiful". But for the time being... I don’t think this would work.


The Cinderella way:

Work hard as a slave cleaning, cooking...chores. Then go to the ball enchanted by your fairy godmother, the prince will IMMEDIATELY fall in love with you, and you’re set for life. Oh wait, make sure you leave a glass slipper behind so he can find you.
Problem:
I don’t have size 0 feet which no other girl could fit. In fact, I have the most common shoe size, size 7. So when he goes around trying to find me, he'll just get the lucky girl who's the first one his footmen find. HOW SAD. How about I just leave an email address inside the shoe?
Verdict:
omg, why didn’t I bind my feet or something, this totally could have worked. XD jks.


AIYAH, none of these will work.
Shoot.
DAMN YOU DISNEY. YOU DIDNT HELP AT ALL.
Why do you make girls hope for the impossible "happily ever after" that we'll never get?
Sigh~ okay, back to homework.