Do You Know

I know what is wrong with me lately. I'm _ _ _ _ sick. I don't want to say the word. I've always been thinking of the person but my feelings got harder. Sorry if I'm quiet to you readers, I've a lot of things on my mind lately. I went home from school today instead of heading to Michelle's house. First thing I did when I got home was get in bed and play depressing music. At 8:30 I woke up because my stomach was growling, but I only ate a apple. I am eating less and less now. One bowl a day. People think there is something wrong with me because I'm so quiet, that's true. I just don't want to go into details and say I'm Fine. To those that reads this, I'm not. I feel like crying. I just want to spill out my emotions, but that would make me sound super depressed than I already am. No, I don't go around telling people I'm sad. I just keep quiet. I have been sad for a long time. Is it possible to have a one sided "love"? I know a lot of people say "I love you," just for the fun of it, and to the one they value. I may be wrong and maybe in the future I will get over him. I feel so different. I feel like I can't stop loving him. I'm trying not to say that word anymore. I [value] him a lot. When he's around, I smile a lot. When he's not, Rachel notices that I don't smile, and I'm quiet again. I know who he likes, and I'm not mad, nor jealous if that's what you're thinking. I will wait, and maybe there will be a chance. I tried to forget him. Junior year I've been busying myself that everything went by so fast. Now that I am slowing down, I don't feel like doing anything. It's not working, I tried to move on, but I can't. This is so hard for me. I'm still laying in bed sulking around.

when the wind blows, i gently close my eyes
and whisper a request of love
so that you'll be able to feel my heart